- Chuck: "I would like to take this little break to inform you people of the fact that I cannot sing. I jumped on this band after they already had records, out, and a following. And I was going to take singing lessons but all of a sudden we got this trip to England, and I didn't have time to take them, so I apologise."
- Bordin?: "They've already read about that, it's a little late."
- Bill: "Yeah you can read that in the papers."
- Chuck: "Yeah everybody knows."
- Jim: "What do you think, can Chuck sing?"
- Roddy: "No he's flat"
- Chuck: "I'm always flat!"
- ?: "I'm not asking you, I'm not asking you either?"
- Jim: "Can Chuck sing? Yeah! So fuckin' sing Chuck yeah!"
- Bill?: "Chuck yeah!"
- Jim: "Fuck yeah Chuck!"
- Chuck: "Jim has to do me up first. Then I can sing like a bird."
- Jim: "Chuck wants me to jack him off but I won't do it. Is there anybody here who wants to jack Chuck off?"
- Chuck: "No, if it's not your hands, it's just not the same Jim"
During Sprit intro:
- Jim: "? pirate Leeds? And the girls screamed. But, which of them, will jack Chuck off? At the crucial moment?"