Before Caffeine, Patton: "If MC Hammer and Vanilla Ice got in a fist fight, who do you think would win?"
During The Real Thing intro, Patton: "Did you guys lose or win? I don't see any orange."
Before As The Worm Turns:
- Bill: "So how do you guys like our amps, pretty big huh. It's supposed to be a joke."
- Patton: "Yeah you see these amps? Half of them are fake, they're not even real."
- Roddy: "Goddammit they look good huh?"
- Patton: "See these two how they're a little lighter than the others? There's nothing in them, no amp at all. Just pure heavy metal is in here, that's all that's in there."

Before RV the band have to wait for Bill, so Roddy starts counting... 1, 2, 3, 4, well past 20...
During RV, lyrics change: "yeah I sweat a lot, put that lighter away you fucking scumbag, my pants fall down..."

Before Kindergarten: Patton, "How many of you guys are going to Rotterdam tomorrow to see Guns and Roses? haha! Yeah, definitely, sounds like a good plan. Let's go spend way too much money, watch a shitty show and puke and feel horrible the next day. Woo yeah!"
Patton changes some lyrics of We Care A Lot to "about fucking Rodney King!"

Before Easy, Patton: "OK now. Children, let's pretend like this is a Fugazi concert ok? Now everyone first of all be quiet, ok? That's how we all start off. We're all equal right right here ok? Act like this is your grandmothers house, be as polite as you would be in your grandmother's house. And no stage diving ok, that's cruel."

Before Why Do You Bother?, Patton: "OK now let's pretend like we're at a Slayer concert. Everybody break everything arggh. Just kidding. We're a very zen Buddhist band. We believe in balance. And violence. So kill yourself. Now."