Before Evidence:
- Patton: Tel Aviv! Nice to meet you once again. It's only been oh, a decade! Kinda weird anyway, kinda awkward! Yeah. You know when you meet an old friend and you don't know what to fuckin' say? Yeah, it's kinda like that.

During Evidence:
- Patton: Sorry guys my Hebrew is bullshit but checkout my Spanish

Before Surprise! You're Dead!:
- Patton: Let's just start out before I talk any more shit, by thanking Monotonix and Dinosaur Jr. OK, now I can talk some shit. Actually, I better now.

Midlife Crisis pauses and the crowd sings:
- Patton: Actually, you guys sound better than we, you wanna finish the song? You want me to give you the three four? Is that a yes or a no? Yeaerarrr! You guys wanna finish it or do you want them to finish it? I would love to hear you guys finish the song. OK? Take a deep breath. OK? Deep breath. I'll give you the one two three four then you just do what you do.
- *crowd sings a few times*
- Patton: Watch out!
*band goes bonk to end the song*
- Patton: That's the way we would normally end it.
- Roddy: Thank you
- Patton: Thanks for finishing it for us. Much more musical than the way we do it.

Before I Started A Joke:
- Patton: OK Tel Aviv is feeling good, or so we hope. Except for the people are holding the signs. Roddy, you care to...
- Roddy: Comment on the sign? It's not gonna happen... Sorry all you back there don't see the sign, these people up front want to hear the song called Zombie Eaters. It's ok, we like the song too, we played it once on tour, it just didn't feel right, we haven't been playing it, so it's not going to happen. But thank you for the request, and we move on.
- Patton: It's a nice request, we just don't want you to hold it up all night, you know, coz it's just not gonna happen. Saving you some, uh, energy.
- Roddy: Thank you for being... ?
- Patton: Not being a dick!

During I Started a Joke:
- Patton: Lot of Bee Gees fan in Israel huh?

Before Just A Man:
- Patton: Wow
- Roddy: T.A.!
- Patton: T.A.?!
- Roddy: T.A. thanks for being here!
- Patton: Hanging in the T.A.
- Roddy: Thanks you guys this next song is our last song, it's been real nice.
- Patton: Last one.
- Roddy: Technically it's our last song of our tour, and that's it.
- Patton: It's the last song
- Roddy: Finito. She's over. Caput. Out! Back into the brig??
- Patton: Back to the cemetery for these old men.
- Roddy: Thanks for being there us you guys thanks a lot
- Patton: Very nice to see you ???
- Roddy: Fucking beautiful
- Patton: Must be very patient people to have waited this long to actually come to fucking see us. When you could be seeing Madonna next door.
- Roddy: Don't even get me started

Before Pristina:
- Roddy: Thanks you guys. You guys are awful nice, thanks for having us.
- Patton: Ridiculous, aren't you guys ready to go home yet?
- Bill: Question is, where do we go from here?
- Patton: Actually, that was a good idea. I got an idea, how about we go skinny dipping at Drum beach or whatever they call it? The whole fuckin' place. That'd fuck 'em up right? Who's in? Alright, tell us how to get there.